Boiling..

I had a boiling point strike hard this week. I was angry on the inside and let it take over which in turn others paid for it. The day started off long and tiring. It was very quiet which means I had too much time to think. So, when Robert came home I was in one of those moods. I was frustrated, snappy, and plain mean. I knew I was being ridiculous. I knew I should stop. I knew it was far from fair. My poor niece even got some of the heat.

The worst part was I decided to make supper choices difficult. I blamed Robert. But some reason he just took it. He got frustrated not knowing why I was acting the way I was but at the same time, I wasn’t making it easy. We could all agree I was being a bitch. Heck, I reached out to a friend to even lecture me on being this way and that I was being ridiculous because I WAS!

When I finally calmed down, I apologized to my wonderful husband and we talked it out. I knew I needed to stop being an asshole.  He admitted that he knew I was not actually angry over the pizza or what was for supper. He amazes me every time he knows I will give in and talk about what is really bothering me. Communication has always been the key with us and his patience with my crap is astonishing. I wouldn’t have patience with my own self!  SO to get to that point, I was plain tired of infertility at that moment. (and most but this was one of those bad days) And tired of some other aspects of things. I yell at myself that it is not fair to the ones that take the heat, especially the ones I love to treat them as my punching bag. I just can’t seem to help it at times and I have yet to decide which is worse; depression or anger. I could ask Robert but I bet I don’t want to hear that answer!