Monday, March 27, 2017

What Can I Say?

I named this blog the Open Book Struggles of Infertility because I wanted to others not to be scared to talk about what they are going through when it comes to infertility. It is so terrible. I have people around me that still are fighting with infertility but my belief is keep the faith. I lost faith completely. With this IUI, I did not get my hopes up. I thought I had pissed God off and was being punished. Robert didn't believe in that. He ALWAYS believed we would be where we are today. I still believe that infertility should be an open book for others to talk about if they feel comfortable to. I have had SO many questions about the procedure, what is causing our infertility, etc. Putting yourself out there doesn't give you much privacy but I also found a lot of support in doing so.

 I can say this at least, I am still in awe. I have not written in a while because of that exact reason. I am 16 weeks pregnant today and I STILL can't believe it most of the time. I also feel so many emotions with the fact of how long it took to get here and that things can change in an instant. I fear the worst all the time which is exhausting. Anxiety for sure does not help that at all.

All of a sudden, I feel like my baby bump is no longer a fat bump. It is so crazy! Thanks to a friend, I can hear the heartbeat whenever I want. That is a beautiful gift for sure.

I still bleed and it just feels normal anymore. I am guessing with the fact that I have the doppler it definitely eases the mind when the bleeding incidents happen. Doctor still has no reasons behind it but said it obviously isn't a problem because my little baby cru is growing fast!

Robert, of course, is over protective of me. Doesn't want me over doing it and such. I love that he is that way, makes me know he will be even more protective over the baby. We get to find out the gender on April 21st! I  CANT WAIT! I am sure it will go fast. I have to say that my pregnancy has been blessed with mild symptoms. I think the worst would be fatigue. I am always so tired but so many women have it much worse. I love being pregnant for the most part!  I miss my beer ;)

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